yukio okumura

[grigori]

Comments

[reflash]

[He pauses. He doesn't want to think of this, take stock of all his failings and come up with the least offensive to tell her.]

... I take up too much of peoples time. [That's simple enough.]

[grigori]

[ is it simple? it doesn't sound like it's a simple answer to her; it sounds like there's more to it than he's saying. take too much of their time in what way? ] What does that mean? [ gently: ] How do you think you're taking too much of people's time?

[reflash]

[She's pushing and prying and digging at things he doesn't want to talk about. But if he doesn't, she won't want anything to do with him, will she?]

Shamsiel-san. [he says, quietly.] There are many better things people could do with their time than talk to me.

[grigori]

[ unfortunately, she is but hopefully not in a way where he feels like he is being backed into a corner. she really just wants to understand him; the better you understand someone, the better you can be there for them, right? ] I don't understand. [ she'll lightly caress yukio's face and step in closer. ] Why do you think that? I like talking to you plenty—I like listening to what you have to say. I like learning more about you.

[reflash]

[it takes basically no effort to make yukio feel like he's being backed into a corner. at least he isn't lashing out at her in any way, even if he does freeze up at that hand on his cheek.]

But you shouldn't. [That's what he means, when he says he's selfish. He's somehow tricked people into thinking they should like having anything to do with him.]

[grigori]

[ she doesn't miss that and honestly it makes her worry more. ] Then tell me why. Give me a reason. [ well, she's going put both of her hands on each side of his face (like he's an idiot sandwich)...or try. again, their height difference. her touch will still be gentle but firm. ] You said you'd let me support you and so let me. Explain to me. [ softly and with some caution. ] What happened, Yukio?

[reflash]

Nothing... happened. [he doesn't pull away from her.]

I'm just not... [how does he explain this? why can't she see it?]

I'm not good enough.

[grigori]

[ it's because she sees value in every person, which is why she wants to see what yukio sees. she also won't make baseless comments and instead keep her eyes trained on him. ] It's because of Rin, right? I'm an only child, but it's not as though I can't imagine what it could have been like. [ again, cautiously. ] You mentioned your father back then.

[reflash]

It's not my brother's fault. [Yukio says, quietly.]

He's a good person, and he doesn't have to fake it. I hate him because of that. But I... [why. why is he telling her this? he shouldn't be doing this. he needs to stop bothering her.]

I hate myself more. Because I shouldn't hate him for being a good person, I shouldn't hate him for being happy, I shouldn't hate him just because people like him.

[grigori]

[ she said she'd be here to support him and carry whatever burden he'd want to share with her and she's sticking to it. though listening to this does make her sad. ] ...and you don't hate him enough to let him die. [ gently. ] I don't think you're faking being a good person with that. Rin said you always assume the worse; he worries for you, and I do as well. Did you think that I'd hate you for this? Because I wouldn't. I like you, Yukio. [ now which kind of like is she referring to?? ]

[reflash]

...

Why?

[grigori]

I just do. [ she'll remove her hands from his face and instead take a hold of one of his hands with both of her's and hold onto it tightly. ] I like the time that I get to spend with you, and I like to see you happy. I really enjoyed myself when you went through all of that trouble to set up those games for everyone. I don't take part in those things very often even before I became a Watcher. So, it was extra special for me. I got to spend time with you and learn something new.

[reflash]

I'm glad. [he says, quietly. there's something in his expression that might be a smile.]

I like seeing you happy.

[grigori]

[ and she'll latch onto that smile and smile wider herself. ] If that's the case, then you shouldn't hold back when you're with me. I don't want you to feel like you have to pretend to be a certain way around me.

[reflash]

... I don't know how to do that. [he admits, quietly.]

[grigori]

You're doing it right now. Right here. It might be something small but you're letting me know what you're thinking.

[reflash]

[Is he? It just feels like he's making a mistake.]

You're sure you're not upset? [He's just. Shoving so much on her right now.]

[grigori]

[ without any kind of hesitation and with a bright smile on her face. ] Not at all. Why would I be?

[reflash]

It's not fair to you, for me to make you listen to this.

[grigori]

You're not making me listen to you, though. I'm here listening to you because I want to be. It's like I've said—I like spending time with you, Yukio. Any time I have is special to me.

[reflash]

That's really hard for me to believe. [he admits, and it's a lot to say it, he tries to hide just how hard it is behind a faint smile.]

But... I'll try to.

[grigori]

I'm glad, and thank you, Yukio. [ ... and now she'll look down at their hands before fidgeting for a moment. ] Now, about those scheduled meetings... D, do they have to be anything special? What if I just brought something from where we ended up in to do together?

[reflash]

[Oh, right. Scheduled meetups.]

That would be nice. There's always something interesting going on over on that side.

[grigori]

[ their not dates? or actual dates. hmm. ] Are there things that I should look out for that you enjoy?

[reflash]

[hmm.]

I'd rather learn what you enjoy. [he admits. which may just be because he's a nerd with no interests.]