[ it feels like so long ago, as she remembers, suddenly, the question he asked in truth or dare. that he'd asked if there was someone she liked, and she'd side-stepped and never answered, because here, like home, there's simply too much going on to allow herself to feel something like that, so she never even once considered it.
he'd looked a little down when she'd told him similar, the next day, but suriel never thought much of it. people have told her before that things like that are okay to want, even with everything else going on around them, so she'd just assumed it was the same, but...
he likes her? rin is going to die tomorrow, and he's telling her now? even if it isn't the end, that's still... she still...
it feels like her heart is going to hammer right out of her chest, like her head is going to explode, so for a moment, she just drops her gaze from his to hold her face in her hands. ]
[Rin's thoughts keep bouncing back and forth between 'oh no that's so cute' and 'oh no I broke her'. Should he be happy? Worried? Mortified? Maybe all three at once?
Eventually he holds his hands up and starts to stutter out some words:]
J-just forget about it, okay? I don't wanna force you to do anything you don't want and- and we're not gonna see each other for a while anyway, so- it's a bad idea and we shouldn't do it!
[ well this is about to get really stupid because while she is still blushing, now she's just. hitting rin? not hard, but in that way that you kind of smack your friends when you're excited or something. ]
Don't say things like that! We can still visit you and I will, no matter how busy we are. I'll make time for it, Rin, so stop talking like it's the end!
[At least Rin doesn't have his demon strength so he can't shove her through a wall. But they're getting into a feedback loop because now he's embarrassed and shouting a bit.]
I know that! But I'll be dead and you can't kiss a ghost! But if you don't wanna kiss that's fine anyway! I like being your friend more than I care about kisses!
[ she stops hitting him, feathers bristling as she looks away from rin. aaaaaa, couldn't he have said something before now? her face feels hot. her whole body feels hot. it's just rin, and she likes him, so why is it so confusing now? ]
I like being your friend, too, Rin.
[ her hands ball into fists in her lap. ]
And I... I've never kissed anyone before. [ she squeezes her eyes shut, like that will make this less embarrassing. ] But if it's you, I... I think that would be okay...
[He's wanted to, but he's lost his nerve every time. He's also talented at mistaking obliviousness for rejections. But when you're facing your own impending death, you get bolder.
So he waits for her while she processes everything, while she talks through it. And at the mention of 'I've never kissed anyone before' he suddenly remembers that the Watchers can see what he does and he definitely kissed Allen a couple times before this thread happens. Whoops. He's not going to say anything and just hope that either nobody saw that or that this is some nebulous part of Teenager Feelings where it's okay to kiss several people when you're not specifically committed to any of them. It's fine? It's fine. He's going to die tomorrow so he won't have to live with the consequences of this.
(Or so he thinks.)]
I. Yeah. It'll be okay.
[No dying before him!!! But he'll reach out to gently take her hand into his.]
[ he can take her hand. she doesn't fight it or pull away, though she's clearly jittery and nervous and can't bring herself to look at him. there's still an internal crisis to deal with. a boy likes her? a boy wants to kiss her? her friend wants to kiss her?
but rin is dying tomorrow (so she thinks). what is she even supposed to think about this, knowing what's to come, that she can't save him? for all the joking about a prince and princess, she never thought it would be anything more than a friend helping a friend.
...maybe she just... shouldn't think about it yet. maybe they can worry about the rest later. they don't have to think about that now, right? ]
[ it doesn't have to last for long. her mind is still spinning so fast she can't keep up, heart beating hard enough that it's a wonder it doesn't give out.
but it's gentle, and sweet, and... very rin. as far as first kisses go, it's good, and she'll cherish the experience later.
now, though, tears prick at the corners of her eyes, and her voice drops to a whisper. ]
I... I don't want you to die, Rin...
[ nor does she want anyone to die in his place, but she is still powerless to stop it. she'd agreed in order to help people, to save them, even just one person. a hero should be able to save just one person, shouldn't they? so why can't she save rin? ]
[The kiss is a moment of sweetness followed by a hollow feeling in his chest, an ache that's only going to get worse as time goes on. But for now, he can loosely hug Suriel and lean forward to rest his forehead on her shoulder, finding a little bit of comfort in being able to be this close, if only for now.]
[ even though she'd just told him it wasn't the end, it still feels like it is. they can visit, but it won't erase what's going to happen.
she hates that, so she leans into the hug without hesitation, snaking her arms around him and holding on like rin himself is a lifeline. she doesn't want to cry again, so she focuses on committing this moment to memory as her wings wrap around them both. ]
We'll fix it. I don't know how yet, but we will. I promise.
[He's scared, but he does trust Ochako. And when he's in a warm hug like this, it's easy to think 'everything will be alright'. He feels safe, surrounded by those wings. Safer than he has for a while.
He'll just stay like that for a while, until either Suriel pulls away or he starts to doze off in her arms.]
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he'd looked a little down when she'd told him similar, the next day, but suriel never thought much of it. people have told her before that things like that are okay to want, even with everything else going on around them, so she'd just assumed it was the same, but...
he likes her? rin is going to die tomorrow, and he's telling her now? even if it isn't the end, that's still... she still...
it feels like her heart is going to hammer right out of her chest, like her head is going to explode, so for a moment, she just drops her gaze from his to hold her face in her hands. ]
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Eventually he holds his hands up and starts to stutter out some words:]
J-just forget about it, okay? I don't wanna force you to do anything you don't want and- and we're not gonna see each other for a while anyway, so- it's a bad idea and we shouldn't do it!
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Don't say things like that! We can still visit you and I will, no matter how busy we are. I'll make time for it, Rin, so stop talking like it's the end!
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I know that! But I'll be dead and you can't kiss a ghost! But if you don't wanna kiss that's fine anyway! I like being your friend more than I care about kisses!
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[ she stops hitting him, feathers bristling as she looks away from rin. aaaaaa, couldn't he have said something before now? her face feels hot. her whole body feels hot. it's just rin, and she likes him, so why is it so confusing now? ]
I like being your friend, too, Rin.
[ her hands ball into fists in her lap. ]
And I... I've never kissed anyone before. [ she squeezes her eyes shut, like that will make this less embarrassing. ] But if it's you, I... I think that would be okay...
[ she is going to die ]
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So he waits for her while she processes everything, while she talks through it. And at the mention of 'I've never kissed anyone before' he suddenly remembers that the Watchers can see what he does and he definitely kissed Allen a couple times before this thread happens. Whoops. He's not going to say anything and just hope that either nobody saw that or that this is some nebulous part of Teenager Feelings where it's okay to kiss several people when you're not specifically committed to any of them. It's fine? It's fine. He's going to die tomorrow so he won't have to live with the consequences of this.
(Or so he thinks.)]
I. Yeah. It'll be okay.
[No dying before him!!! But he'll reach out to gently take her hand into his.]
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but rin is dying tomorrow (so she thinks). what is she even supposed to think about this, knowing what's to come, that she can't save him? for all the joking about a prince and princess, she never thought it would be anything more than a friend helping a friend.
...maybe she just... shouldn't think about it yet. maybe they can worry about the rest later. they don't have to think about that now, right? ]
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But he sees her overthinking, and after smiling for a moment he's going to lean in to gently press their lips together.
It's a very soft kiss that doesn't last for long, but it's a good first kiss, maybe.]
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but it's gentle, and sweet, and... very rin. as far as first kisses go, it's good, and she'll cherish the experience later.
now, though, tears prick at the corners of her eyes, and her voice drops to a whisper. ]
I... I don't want you to die, Rin...
[ nor does she want anyone to die in his place, but she is still powerless to stop it. she'd agreed in order to help people, to save them, even just one person. a hero should be able to save just one person, shouldn't they? so why can't she save rin? ]
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[The kiss is a moment of sweetness followed by a hollow feeling in his chest, an ache that's only going to get worse as time goes on. But for now, he can loosely hug Suriel and lean forward to rest his forehead on her shoulder, finding a little bit of comfort in being able to be this close, if only for now.]
I don't wanna die either.
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she hates that, so she leans into the hug without hesitation, snaking her arms around him and holding on like rin himself is a lifeline. she doesn't want to cry again, so she focuses on committing this moment to memory as her wings wrap around them both. ]
We'll fix it. I don't know how yet, but we will. I promise.
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[He's scared, but he does trust Ochako. And when he's in a warm hug like this, it's easy to think 'everything will be alright'. He feels safe, surrounded by those wings. Safer than he has for a while.
He'll just stay like that for a while, until either Suriel pulls away or he starts to doze off in her arms.]